The Love of My Life


About 6 years ago, I was experiencing great torment in my mind. It just seemed like I couldn’t have peace for NOTHING. Many nights consisted of endless negative thoughts RACING through my mind and constant useless rumination. My main issue was  I had a stronger desire for people than for God. I had put more faith in people than in God. MISTAKE. Anyways, one day I went to the Family Christian store near my home and there it was, sitting on a table right by the door, Joyce Meyer’s “Battlefield  of the Mind” DVD. God set that up JUST FOR ME (right when I think He has forgotten about me He sends comfort EVERY TIME). So, of course I bought the DVD and watched it. Boy was it a blessing. It teaches all about how the devil constantly tries to gain control of the mind by tainting it with toxic thoughts. Best of all, it teaches how to defeat the enemy of the mind and enjoy a life of victory, peace, and joy. I would recommend the book and DVD to anyone. The greatest battle we will ever fight is indeed in the mind.

When I woke up this morning, I prayed , worshipped, read some scripture, then I read Joyce Meyer’s “Power Thoughts” devotional. It’s so amazing how we’ll often read and hear scripture yet at that moment it doesn’t really penetrate, ya know? Like, we believe it and we get it, but it doesn’t really SLAP us in the face. Then we read or hear it again sometime later and BOOM! It’s like God dropped a heavenly house on you. I LOVE IT. That’s exactly what happened to me today. The devotional aimed focus on 1 John 4:18, which explains that there is NO FEAR in LOVE but perfect LOVE  DRIVES OUT FEAR. The scripture explains that fear has to do with punishment and the ONE WHO FEARS IS NOT MADE PERFECT IN LOVE. A house dropped RIGHT ON MY HEAD- STRAIGHT OUTTA HEAVEN. I’ve heard all about the love of God ALL my life. I’ve heard the songs and I’ve read scriptures all about the love of God BUT that’s all I did- I just heard about it and read about it, never TRULY embracing and dwelling on the love of God. In the midst of my struggles, the first thing I think is punishment is upon me. Immediately, I think God is working against me . I feel like my blessings are being blocked and I’m being punished for every little mistake, which of course elicits DOUBT (uh no- no bueno). Looking at it with a sober mind, It’s an obvious satanic ploy to shake my faith and turn me away from God. I’ve had my moments but luckily I always bounce back- and that’s the LOVE I’ve been overlooking all along.

Let me be the first to say I deserve a FIRST CLASS seat in hell. Oh yeah I do. With some of the stuff that I’ve done, thought about, and have even said to God over the years, it’s only by His UNCONDITIONAL LOVE and GRACE that I’m even still alive. Because of the Lord’s GREAT love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is His faithfulness (Lamentations 3:22-23). God gave His only Son for me (and for all) NOT because I’m so Holy (because I am DEFINITELY NOT), not because of my righteousness (because Isaiah 64:6 states that our righteousnesses are like filthy rags) but JESUS DIED for my filth- LOVE CAN GET NO DEEPER THAN THAT. The Lord has been faithful to me though I’ve been unfaithful to Him- THAT’S LOVE. Peter 5:7 instructs us to cast all of our worries to the Lord because He cares for us. Worry is routed in fear- fear of unfavorable outcome.If you really BELIEVE in and fully RECEIVE God’s unfailing, immeasurable love, what’s there to worry about? What’s there to fear? HE LOVES US- LIKE REALLY.

Let’s think about our natural (birth) parents. They took care of us all of our lives and if there’s anything we ever need, they’ll be right there. No matter how much we’ve angered or disappointed our moms and dads, they continue to love us UNCONDITIONALLY. Our parents always have and always will protect us. Well, guess what- God loves us FAR MORE than our natural parents will ever be able to. Our natural parents are limited but God is not. There is no end to what He can and will do for His children. Come on, He’s been doing this stuff since the beginning of time. He protected Daniel in the lion’s den (Daniel chapter 6). He protected Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the blazing furnace. They made it out without one single burn (Daniel 3:16-30). He provided the Israelites with manna and quail to eat while they were in the wilderness (Exodus 16:4-13). Just think of the MANY ways God has SHOWN you His LOVE throughout your life. In moments of feeling depressed, I felt God’s presence come upon me and replace my sadness with JOY. He’s even waken me up in the middle of the night to send peace and comfort to my mind.

GOD LOVES US. PERIOD. Trouble will arise from time to time. It’s inevitable. But I have made up my mind to receive, embrace, and dwell on God’s LOVE. Love covers a multitude of sin (1 Peter 4:8). So, God is NOT punishing us for being imperfect. In fact, His immense MERCY and LOVE saves us from the punishment that we deserve. His GRACE grants us chance after chance, FAR beyond what we deserve or could ever earn. God is my keeper. He HAS and WILL  see me through every trial and test. His LOVE provides RELIEF in the midst of pain. His love calms the storm. His love delivers. His love secures my future. Because of His love, FEAR IS DEAD. FREEDOM has been granted to all who will receive (through Christ). We don’t have to entertain or dwell on one negative thought. We don’t have to allow the words and actions of others to bring us down. The LOVE of God calls us all, will you accept or reject?

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